That One Time I Tried Online Dating: Part 3

Read part one and part two.

Now let's make something clear before going any further. I would not agree to pick up some guy at the airport that I had talked to only via email without doing some background research. I didn't want to make headlines as a missing person and become the main character on an episode of "Dateline." Fortunately, my girlfriend, Chelsey, recognized someone in one of Jared's online pictures (oh gosh, this online dating world sounds so crazy as I type it out). It just so happened to be Chelsey's husband's cousin and after a little investigating, we learned her husband's cousin was Jared's roommate. Following?? On top of that, I have a friend who teaches at Jared's school and he confirmed that Jared was who he said he was. I considered the guy vetted.

The day of the date arrived and oh my goodness, my mind was moving a million miles a minute. I couldn't think a straight sentence! I stopped by Chelsey's house on the way to the airport to get any final words of encouragement. With her son bouncing on her hip, she tried to calm my nerves but nothing was going to stop my mind from racing. It was time to rip the Band-Aid off and do this. I said a quick prayer and off I went to the airport.

That One Time I Tried Online Dating: Part Two

Read part one here.

After typing in my credit card number for the required $15 membership fee, I uploaded my picture, typed in a few sentences for my profile page and filled out about 60 percent of the site's personality test.

Then....Then I didn't do a whole lot.

As I had learned during my first go-around on the dating site, I wasn't really interested in that many of the eligible men. There was actually only one man on the entire site that I thought was attractive. Some guy finishing his MBA at Ohio State. Seeing as that was hundreds of miles away, I didn't think that road was worth pursuing.

I checked the site every few days to see if there was anyone new or to respond to any "flirts" or messages sent my way. I exchanged a few messages with a guy named Sherman from Utah and a 51-year-old man invited me to take a midnight ride in his convertible. Both of those fizzled fast.

I was catching up with Margo one afternoon and telling her that the month was a total flop.

"There isn't anyone you're interested in?," she asked. I did a quick scan in my mind through the profiles I had seen.

"Nope, no one," I reported. "There was one cute guy in Ohio but, well, he's in Ohio."

Margo told me to message him and see what happens. I hesitated, but Margo and I basically came to the conclusion that I literally had nothing to lose at this point in my life.

Days later, I pulled up his profile and clicked "Message." I received a few messages during my month experiment, and let's just say there are very few ways to send an email to someone you've never met and let them know you're interested without sounding completely creepy.

So now with it being my turn to initiate a conversation, I knew I was attempting the impossible.

"A 51-year-old man is trying to date me. How's the site working out for you?"

A few days went by. No response. I figured that was that and looked forward to my move to New York City where I would more fully embrace dating.

Then one day, an email popped up in my inbox.

"Hi! Sorry it took me a while to reply. I had cancelled my subscription and was debating whether or not I should renew. I haven't had any cougar problems, but a 50-year-old woman is a lot less creepy than a 50-year-old man. Anyways, my name is Jared."

Jared. That's a name I now say and think about hundreds of times a day. But this, this was the first time.

He asked me about my life in Colorado. He told me about living in Columbus and missing the Utah mountains that he had grown accustomed to while he was going to college there. We talked about goals after school, our travel adventures, how I play a mean game of Scrabble, our families, my divorce, religion...Within a week, we were emailing several times a day and loving getting to know one another. I knew it would eventually fizzle out, seeing as we were so far apart, but it was just fun to have emails to look forward to.

Then one night, I was at Anthropologie returning something after having dinner with my parents. While the sales person was processing my refund, I pulled up my email on my phone to see another note from Jared.

"Hey, so I was looking at my itinerary for my trip to Salt Lake City next month and I have a layover in Denver. I am fairly certain that I can get a flight out of Salt Lake City a lot earlier in the day. Would you be interested in hanging out for half of the day? I thought it would be a good opportunity. If you don't want to, I understand."

I specifically remember feeling my face light up. My dad noticed too and asked what it was that I read. I quickly said something about getting a nice email from a friend. That wasn't a lie, right? It was technically a nice email from a friend. I actually kept Jared a secret for a while, except for a few girlfriends. I felt oddly protective of this new friendship and wanted to keep it safe.

It was not like me to do this. To email with some guy. To agree to meet him. Especially a guy like Jared. I had seen a few pictures of him and I felt like I was playing with someone way out of my league. I was just pretending the last few weeks. I couldn't possibly meet the guy...

Well, could I possibly meet the guy?

My girlfriend, Chelsey, was one of the few who knew about the emails. She asked me what I was going to do when I told her he wanted to meet.

"Well....I think I have to meet him."

That One Time I Tried Online Dating

My profile picture taken at work on a cell phone. I was not taking this online dating business seriously.

My name is Amy Eley. And I met my boyfriend...online.

Gasp!

Okay, so perhaps there's not really a gasp. Online dating is becoming more prevalent, after all. But I still do pause for a moment whenever someone asks how Jared and I met. It was totally on the World Wide Web. Here's how it all started...

Once my divorce went through, I felt really ready to start dating again. I wasn't anxious to get into anything serious, but I wanted to meet some good men and have hope for my future. The problem was that I really didn't know how to go about it. Most of my friends were married and I struggled to tap into the single scene in Denver completely alone. My girlfriend, Margo, had the time of her life on a dating website (and yes, she actually ended up marrying one of the men she met!), so she eventually started pushing me to make a profile and just see what happened.

Late one night, I bit the bullet. I created a profile on a dating website and within 20 minutes of browsing its members, I freaked out. Send a flirt? A hug? And the dreaded "About Me" section! I couldn't do it. I cancelled my membership, slammed my laptop shut and wiped my hands clean of that idea.

A few weeks went by and Margo slowly began coaxing me back. "You don't have to meet the love of your life," she told me. "Just have some fun."

One month. That's all I would have to give it. Just set up a profile for one month and then I can close the "My Experience Online Dating" chapter of my life.

Well, that short month would change everything....

A Date

Photo from here.

Today is my last day in the city before heading home for Christmas.

I'm not quite ready to leave yet. I know I've done a view odes to New York during the holidays but wow, there is really nothing like it.

I'll be finishing up holiday shopping in Chinatown and the Upper West Side. Tonight, I have a date with the man who's holding my heart these days. He asked that we deliver a turkey dinner to a family in need rather than see "A Christmas Story" on Broadway.

Yes, my dear, we can do that.

Ramblings About Identity

It has been a tougher week this week! But I'm surviving and am only days away from an amazing weekend of edification and inspiration from speakers in my church in an event named General Conference. You can watch too, here! Let me tell you, I so need this weekend.

I have become increasingly terrified of losing myself. Or perhaps I've already lost myself? Or am in process? I don't think any of the above is in fact true, but it's been on my mind this week.

I feel like through our toughest moments, we come to understand who we really are. What we are really capable of. It provides this amazing driving force that takes down fears and embraces new opportunities. I loved that. It made the hard times of last year completely worth it and in fact, I think last year's experience was essential to my growth. I'm grateful for that experience of divorce. Truly 100% grateful.

But I'm on to a new chapter now. I'm in a new city, doing new things, dating new people, making new friends. And I have become so terrified but losing that grip on who I really am. I feel like unless I treat myself so carefully and don't let anyone in, I can protect that identity. I think the former part of that sentence is okay. It's the latter part that is hard. Not letting anyone in? Is that what I really want? Is that the only way to keep a firm understanding and hold on the power of identity?

There's a taste of my Thursday morning....Off to yoga...

Back In The Saddle Again

Whew, my holiday hiatus actually was a month-long break. But I'm back, baby! And feeling good.

So good in fact that today, I have my first...date.

I've actually been so looking forward to today. I even treated myself to a new outfit. The employee who rang me up at the register asked if my purchases were for anything in particular. "I HAVE A DATE!" is what she received in response. Just a tad excited over here. Can't you tell from my face in the dressing room photo??

Not a bad way to start the week. Well, hopefully....I mean, the man could tell me his teeth are rotting like one guy did during dinner on a first date. Word to the wise: Don't ever do that. And brush your teeth.