A Hard Time

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I recently was reviewing a transcription of an interview I conducted about a year ago. In it, the subject expressed a greater need for authenticity on the blogosphere.

"Authenticity is what inspires," she said. "Genuineness ignites passion."

I believe there is great power in showing people that we are each human. I am human. I am vulnerable. And on some days, I have a really hard time.

While those waves of grief crash less often than they used to, they do still come around, often when I least expect it. And when they hit, no matter how many times they have come before, it's hard to remember that I will recover. That I will smile again. I will laugh. I will feel happiness.

Today I fought the tears all day long. I felt like one question, one word, one comment from anyone (whether it was related to my situation or not) would make me shatter into a million pieces.

Remember this line from "Sleepless in Seattle"? That Tom Hanks said my thoughts today perfectly.

I'm going to get out of bed every morning and breathe in and out all day long. Then, after a while, I won't have to remind myself to get out of bed in the morning and breathe in and out.

And that is that. I have no "happier ever after" ending to this post because this day didn't fit into that little package.

Today was a "And she kept living...".

Some days, I think that is the most we can ask of ourselves.